Mexican heart attack

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This is not a Mexican bashing story, let me say that befor someone gets bent.

Last Sunday I was hanging around the house here, going over my list of things to do befor I leave for the fest in a couple of weeks, when my phone rings. It was my buddy Elmer Fud, he wanted to know if I wanted to ride down to the Tractor Supply with him, he was looking for some work boots and stuff. I thought about it a minute and befor I answered he said...and stop somewhere and get a beer. Well of course I'd like to go get a beer.
At the Tractor Supply he looked around at all the shit in there I think, (he's bout as picky as some damn woman shopping), so I ease on up front where this gal had a couple of homeless dogs for sale. I'm not in the market for a dog right now but I thought I'd check out the gal that had the dogs. Not the prettiest thing there was but she had a turd cutter on her you could set a beer on. And she was married as I found out. Damn.
My buddies shopping done we walk out to the bikes, and it is like walking into a damn blast furnace, bout 95 degrees out. Damn lets hit the closest place that has beer and ac.
Well the closest place was a little Mexican resturant in a strip mall down the road bout 2 miles. Mexican it was then.
We pull up and there are only about 3 cars in the parking lot, cool everybodies still at church or it's just to damn hot to be out. Anyway, we walk in and the cool air made me shiver, and my thirst was of most importartance. So we make our way to the back of the room where the bar is and grab a couple of stools. A cute little chunky brown pepper belly behind the bar takes our order for beers. I'll have two longnecks, the first one gets shotgun'd and the second I'll nurse.
I'm sitting there enjoying my beer and bullshiting with Elmer and just relaxing in the cool ac. Behind the bar was a big screen tv with a soccer game on and the sound turned down kinda low. There was a big ol mirrow on the wall, bout 4ft by 6ft, something like that. There was about 8 or 9 people sitting in the booths behind us (all Mexicans, most employ's, it was a slow day) and they were talking in a low monotone sound. The whole place was kinda quite and really relaxing. I could see everything back behind us in the mirrow, and as I set there shooting the bull with my buddy I'm looking in the mirrow and noticed this real fine looking gal back there and me and her kinda lock'd eyes a time or two. Now she's with the 8 or 9 I was telling you about so i got to play this the right way or there could be some shit. Homerun, or strikeout, with a fight.
After a couple of beers I'm thinking it's about time to make a move. Now this place is quite and not much is going on so any thing I do will probaly have eyes on it and the attention of the others in there.
Just about this time every damn Mexicn sitting in the booths behind us jumps up hollering in a language I know squat about and have their fists in the air, and are standing behind me. And others come running from the otherside of the resturant. I see all this in the mirrow and I'm thinking shit, I just got busted flirting with one of their ol's or sisters , or I farted or something. All I know is they'er coming for me. I spin around on my stool with the intentions of centerpunching the closest one to me and then dealing with the rest however. In that split second of evaulating the situation I notice none of their eyes was looking straight at me but past me. The fuckers was looking at the damn tv behind the bar. Brazille or whoever was playing soccer had scored a goal and these shits all jumped up to celebrate. I don't think it ever occured to them that they just about gave me a heart attack. They set back down and the place went back to being as quite as it had been 30 seconds ago. It was like dropping a brick in a still pond, it was quit and then this big spaaalash!!, and then all the ripples were gone and it was still again.
My heart settled back down in a few minutes after another beer, and then my heart went even further down....the little cutie I was flirting with, well, I don't think she was flirting after all, it was the damn soccer game she was trying to watch. Oh well.
5 or 6 beers and it's time to hit the road, and the heat. It was like an oven outside. My buddy decided to head for his house, I decided to head over the mountain for some riding on the other side under the tree conopy of the back roads.
I had a good laugh at myself going down the road. I bet they're still laughing about the gringo that about had a heart attack back at the bar.
If ya ever see a greybeard going down the road on a ol shovel laughing for no apparrent reason......well that would be me. Life is good.