True story...as told to me.
My nephew called and ask if I would ride with him down in Georgia to look at a bike trailer he was thinking of buying. First we had to stop and pick up Charilie (his friend) since Charlie was the one who knew where it was. Sure why not. I like these road trips where I can sit back and drink a beer or two and not worry about driving. Now I have never met Charlie befor this. I can say without a doubt that I have met the REAL "Get'r Done"now. We stopped to pick Charlie up and when he came out of his trailer I said right then this is going to be fun. No shit, fat with a plaid shirt unbutton with one of those tuxedos t shirts underneath, "party nekked" baseball cap with a big fish hook on the bill, with beer in hand. Now there's three of us in the front seat of this pick up truck, a motly crew to say the least. The trailer was about 30 miles down the road , at a another trailer (trailer park), so there was some beer drinking going on between me and Charlie.
I'll try to tell this like Charlie told me......but I can't elbow you in the ribs, or stomp the floor of the truck, or spit a chaw out the window all the while like Charlie did.
......rat thar is the trailer were my cuz Riki lee uset ta live. Landlord throwd him out, over a damn possum. One night Riki lee and martha was watching tv and he heard a noise in the bathroom, so he went to see and there was a possum done crawld up thru a hole in the floor by the commode. The possum saw Riki lee and shot back out the hole. Well the next night Riki lee heard the noise again. So ol Riki lee had been thinking on the subject and had a plan. Riki lee grabs his shotgun and tells martha to go in there and beat on the wall and holler and scare the possum back out the hole and he'll be outside and kill it when it comes out from under the trailer. Well Riki lee is outside running around the trailer watching for the possum.....there was four or three ways it could get out, so Riki lee wanted to cover all exits. Now martha is inside beating on the wall and hollering to scare the possum out, but as you know possum will play possum, and freeze up on ya and not move. So, martha has a plan now....turn the lights off and on while hollering. Damn it worked.
Now, the neighbors had heard the commotion and when they look'd out they saw Riki lee running around the trailer with a shotgun and heard martha inside hollering and beating on the walls. Well damn Riki lee is trying to shoot her thru the windows.....martha blinking the lights was a sign she needed help. Call the cops.
Now this is a small backwoods place so it don't take long for the cops to get there, especialy when it comes up across the police screen "Riki lee COP FIGHTER". Yeah Riki lee has a bit of history.
Well Barney Fife and Goober stopped ther car down Riki lee's driveway a peice so they could sneak up on him and get the drop on him. Well they're easing up the driveway getting closer to Riki lee's trailer .........BOOM!!!! the flames from Riki lee's shotgun lit up a good peice of the yard, and ol Barny and Goober hightailed it back to their car to call for back up......ol Riki lee done shot at them. Now Riki lee got that damn possum, but he never knew the cops were out there, so Riki lee pick'd up the possum and throwed ir over the neighbors fence, the ones that called the law. See, they're kinda snooty, and uppity, they live in a double wide, with a fence around it. And they don't like riki lee.
Well Riki lee and martha had done settled in back on the couch watching tv when all of a sudden the whole damn trailer lit up like it was 12 o' clock noon. And then, "Riki lee this Georgia swat come out with your hands up. Riki lee new the routine so he walks out, hands in the air and lays down in the yard. Riki lee said his yard was lit up like the high school football field on friday night.
Throw down you gun Riki lee,....I don't have a gun. THROW DOWN YOUR GUN RIKI LEE!!,...I don't have a gun. Then martha opens the front door on the trailer and says "their talking about this one Riki lee" holding the shotgun in the air. So now the swat team has another armed suspect. THROW THE GUN OUT AND WALK OUT WITH YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR. So now heres Riki lee and martha both face down in the yard. Everybody goes to jail.
They want to put a charge on Riki lee so they can take his right from owning guns, so its domestic assault and shooting at a cop. Well they decide that shooting at a cop would get Riki lee more time and they didn't want muddle it up with the domestic stuff so they let martha go and keept Riki lee.
Riki lee got his day in court, in front of a jury. About half way thru the trial Riki lee stands up and says he wants to fire his lawyer. Judge asks why and Riki lee says the lawyer hadn't said nuttin about what happened that night, just talked about my up bringing and that wernt nuttin to do with this.
So the judge says ok Riki lee what are you going to do now that you've fired your laywer? Riki lee says 'tell the jury just what happened that night." Well Riki lee told the jury his story just as I told you here (as I heard It) and the jury was laughing their asses off just as I was when I heard it. 15 mins. and they come back "Not Guilty"
The judge is pissed. Riki lee you have made a mockery of my court room, I hope your happy. No sir your honor. Ya see, that damn possum has cost me $1200. and my best damn coondog.
Theres time when you wish you had a camera, but this time I wish I'd had a tape recorder.
Yep I met Get'r Done.
Nephew got a damn good deal in the trailer. Her ol man was into 4-wheelers. The chicks ol man was in jail and needed some cash.
My nephew called and ask if I would ride with him down in Georgia to look at a bike trailer he was thinking of buying. First we had to stop and pick up Charilie (his friend) since Charlie was the one who knew where it was. Sure why not. I like these road trips where I can sit back and drink a beer or two and not worry about driving. Now I have never met Charlie befor this. I can say without a doubt that I have met the REAL "Get'r Done"now. We stopped to pick Charlie up and when he came out of his trailer I said right then this is going to be fun. No shit, fat with a plaid shirt unbutton with one of those tuxedos t shirts underneath, "party nekked" baseball cap with a big fish hook on the bill, with beer in hand. Now there's three of us in the front seat of this pick up truck, a motly crew to say the least. The trailer was about 30 miles down the road , at a another trailer (trailer park), so there was some beer drinking going on between me and Charlie.
I'll try to tell this like Charlie told me......but I can't elbow you in the ribs, or stomp the floor of the truck, or spit a chaw out the window all the while like Charlie did.
......rat thar is the trailer were my cuz Riki lee uset ta live. Landlord throwd him out, over a damn possum. One night Riki lee and martha was watching tv and he heard a noise in the bathroom, so he went to see and there was a possum done crawld up thru a hole in the floor by the commode. The possum saw Riki lee and shot back out the hole. Well the next night Riki lee heard the noise again. So ol Riki lee had been thinking on the subject and had a plan. Riki lee grabs his shotgun and tells martha to go in there and beat on the wall and holler and scare the possum back out the hole and he'll be outside and kill it when it comes out from under the trailer. Well Riki lee is outside running around the trailer watching for the possum.....there was four or three ways it could get out, so Riki lee wanted to cover all exits. Now martha is inside beating on the wall and hollering to scare the possum out, but as you know possum will play possum, and freeze up on ya and not move. So, martha has a plan now....turn the lights off and on while hollering. Damn it worked.
Now, the neighbors had heard the commotion and when they look'd out they saw Riki lee running around the trailer with a shotgun and heard martha inside hollering and beating on the walls. Well damn Riki lee is trying to shoot her thru the windows.....martha blinking the lights was a sign she needed help. Call the cops.
Now this is a small backwoods place so it don't take long for the cops to get there, especialy when it comes up across the police screen "Riki lee COP FIGHTER". Yeah Riki lee has a bit of history.
Well Barney Fife and Goober stopped ther car down Riki lee's driveway a peice so they could sneak up on him and get the drop on him. Well they're easing up the driveway getting closer to Riki lee's trailer .........BOOM!!!! the flames from Riki lee's shotgun lit up a good peice of the yard, and ol Barny and Goober hightailed it back to their car to call for back up......ol Riki lee done shot at them. Now Riki lee got that damn possum, but he never knew the cops were out there, so Riki lee pick'd up the possum and throwed ir over the neighbors fence, the ones that called the law. See, they're kinda snooty, and uppity, they live in a double wide, with a fence around it. And they don't like riki lee.
Well Riki lee and martha had done settled in back on the couch watching tv when all of a sudden the whole damn trailer lit up like it was 12 o' clock noon. And then, "Riki lee this Georgia swat come out with your hands up. Riki lee new the routine so he walks out, hands in the air and lays down in the yard. Riki lee said his yard was lit up like the high school football field on friday night.
Throw down you gun Riki lee,....I don't have a gun. THROW DOWN YOUR GUN RIKI LEE!!,...I don't have a gun. Then martha opens the front door on the trailer and says "their talking about this one Riki lee" holding the shotgun in the air. So now the swat team has another armed suspect. THROW THE GUN OUT AND WALK OUT WITH YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR. So now heres Riki lee and martha both face down in the yard. Everybody goes to jail.
They want to put a charge on Riki lee so they can take his right from owning guns, so its domestic assault and shooting at a cop. Well they decide that shooting at a cop would get Riki lee more time and they didn't want muddle it up with the domestic stuff so they let martha go and keept Riki lee.
Riki lee got his day in court, in front of a jury. About half way thru the trial Riki lee stands up and says he wants to fire his lawyer. Judge asks why and Riki lee says the lawyer hadn't said nuttin about what happened that night, just talked about my up bringing and that wernt nuttin to do with this.
So the judge says ok Riki lee what are you going to do now that you've fired your laywer? Riki lee says 'tell the jury just what happened that night." Well Riki lee told the jury his story just as I told you here (as I heard It) and the jury was laughing their asses off just as I was when I heard it. 15 mins. and they come back "Not Guilty"
The judge is pissed. Riki lee you have made a mockery of my court room, I hope your happy. No sir your honor. Ya see, that damn possum has cost me $1200. and my best damn coondog.
Theres time when you wish you had a camera, but this time I wish I'd had a tape recorder.
Yep I met Get'r Done.
Nephew got a damn good deal in the trailer. Her ol man was into 4-wheelers. The chicks ol man was in jail and needed some cash.

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